I'm Back

My lovely wife sent me away to the Benedictine monastery of St. Leo Abbey for a weekend retreat for my birthday. It was good to get away and have some alone time with my God. At the same time nothing can make you more spiritually squirmy than an extended period of silence & solitude. I enjoyed hanging out with the monks for prayers and meals, but the rest of the time it was just me, my thoughts and the Ancient of Days.

I got some good reading done. I finished off A Short History of the Mass by Alfred McBride, and How to be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job by Brother Benet Tvedten. I took some great pictures--you can see them here. I got in some good prayer time & received some ministry from a Korean Benedictine priest who lives the monastic life in a small, one road central Florida town. I meditated on the prayer below by Thomas Merton.

With so many things up in the air right now--and only some that I can share with more than a select few--I found this prayer particularly timely. I did get some things settled and reconnected with an important part of who I am that will shape who I will be. There are still some unanswered questions and uneasy discussions to come, but I am finding more peace along the way.

My Lord God

I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me.

I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really understand myself.

And the fact that I think I am following Your will

does not mean I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you

does in fact please you.

And I hope I have the desire in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road

though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always

though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear for you are ever with me

and you will never leave me to face my troubles alone.

(from Thoughts in Solitude)

"Once you go Vatican, you can't go back again"

This one's for my buddy Alan...

the Body of Christ

My good friend Alan has decided to cross back over the Tiber and reconnect with his Catholic roots. I'm very happy for him. We have many shared hopes & dreams for the future--not to mention freakishly similar pasts. He posted these words by John Wesley written to a Roman Catholic. There is much wisdom in these simple words to goevern the way we relate to those united together in Christ.

Then, if we cannot as yet think alike in all things, at least we may love alike. Herein we cannot possibly do amiss. For of one point none can doubt a moment, -- ‘God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.’

In the name, then, and in the strength of God, let us resolve first, not to hurt one another; to do nothing unkind or unfriendly to each other, nothing which we would not have done to ourselves. Rather let us endeavor after every instance of a. kind, friendly, and Christian behavior towards each other.

Let us resolve secondly, God being our helper, to speak nothing harsh or unkind of each other. The sure way to avoid this is to say all the good we can both of and to one another; in all our conversation, either with or concerning each other, to use only the language of love to speak with all Softness and tenderness, with the most endearing expression which is consistent with truth and sincerity.

Let us, thirdly, resolve to harbor no unkind thought, no unfriendly temper, towards each other. Let us lay the axe to the root of the tree; let us examine all that rises in our heart, and suffer no disposition there which is contrary to tender affection. Then shall we easily refrain from unkind actions and word~ when the very root of bitterness is cut up.

Let us, fourthly, endeavor to help each other on in what­ever we are agreed leads to the kingdom. So far as we can, let us always rejoice to strengthen each other’s hands in God. Above all, let us each take heed to himself (since each must give an account of himself to God) that he fall not short of the religion of love, that he be not condemned in that he himself approveth. O let you and I (whatever others do) press on to the prize of our high calling! that, being justified by faith, we may have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ; that we may rejoice in God through Jesus Christ, by whom we have received the atonement; that the love of God may be shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Let us count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Jesus Christ our Lord; being ready for Him to suffer the loss of all things, and counting them but dung that we may win Christ.--I am

Your affectionate servant for Christ’s sake.