"Conscience is the most secret core and sanctuary of a person.

There we are alone with God, whose voice echoes in our depths."

Gaudium et Spes, #16

"A man of conscience is one who never acquires tolerance, well-being, success, public standing, and approval on the part of prevailing opinion at the expense of the truth."

- John Cardinal Ratzinger (aka Pope Benedict XVI)

Thomas Aquinas taught that a person must always follow his or her conscience, even if it is wrong. Following my conscience has not always been a pleasant thing, in fact it often results in problems and pain. Lisa and I have some strong convictions about things. Sometimes I wish we didn't, but we do and we believe those convictions were put there by God, written on our hearts. We also believe that on those issues of conviction there is no room for compromise or acquiescence.

Following my conscience led me to quite my first job with a wife & new baby at home because I could not continue on staff at a church with a pastor who denied the existence of personal sin.

Following my conscience led me out of the Catholic church because I was/am convinced that God was calling me to minister to the wider body of Christ. To this day, almost 10 years later, there are still former friends that won't speak to us and palpable tension and ackwardness with my family.

Following my conscience led me abandoning my goal of becoming a full time pastor for sitting in a cubicle in a job 50 miles from my homw so I can lead a small group of people in my living room with no plans to grow mmuch beyond that because I'm convinced that God has called me to disciple a few people at a time.

Through it all, at each fork in the road, each tough choice to do what I was convinced was right rather than what was easy or safe, God has always come through for us. I ended up with a better job teaching high school students in a more family-friendly town. I've been able to build bridges between Catholics and Protestants that may never have happened for some individuals on their own and formed close, new friendships in the process. I've experienced financial blessing through promotions, raises & bonuses that I never would have received on a church staff; and gained wonderful new insights into the practicality of the gospel. In each decision the risks were known, but the rewards were hidden until I made the leap of faith. God does not hesitate to bless those who trust in him. In fact, if it weren't for our convictions about birth control (or rather against artificial birth control) we would likely never have had the joy of our three girls in our lives.

I've got another big "follow your conscience" moment confronting me again. I can't go into the details at this time, but maybe I will soon. It's good at times of decision to be able to look back on the past and see the faithfulness of God.

Hog Heaven

It's days like today that make me glad to live in the south. Of course there's the great weather--74-degrees on Jan. 27th--but today was something special. We took part in our first Lakeland Pig Fest. This was the 11th year for the LPF, a regional qualifying event for the Kansas City Invitational BBQ Championships. It was the perfect blend of great food (ribs, chicken, pulled pork & beef brisket sandwiches), the sweet aroma of BBQ (I wish I had a smell-o-vision blog for your benefit) and redneck goodness (NASCAR simulators and bare-chested beer bellies). Here's a sampling of some of the pics I took.

My favorite entertainment moment of the day was this kid playing/singing Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire:

this may be a little korny but...

I've always liked the liturgical calendar & seasons and the cycle of readings used by Catholics & Anglicans including the four week psalter in the liturgy of the hours. I've found that no matter what is going on in my life, somehow those predetermined readings fit in with my life & the world around me. To me this speaks of the wisdom of God and the ebb & flow of the life he's created. I was praying the office tonight, Week 3 - Tues evening prayer, when I noticed these prayers among the intercessions for today.

"O God, in your hands are the hearts of the powerful; bestow your wisdom upon government leaders, may they draw from the fountain of your counsel and please you in thought and deed."

"The talents of artists reflect your splendor, may their work give the world hope and joy."

These are written back-to-back in the office to be prayed on the day of the State of the Union address and the announcement of the Academy Award nominations. Nice coincidence, eh?